“Incredulous as it may sound…”

was a hilarious line in Young Frankenstein.   Anyway, it was hilarious to members of the audience who recognized that the correct adjective in context was “incredible.”   Soon after the movie came out, though, I swear I noticed an uptick in the general misuse of “incredulous,” as though Mel Brooks had unwittingly (or, who knows, wittingly) fired a starter gun and we were all free to stop worrying about the distinction and screw up, and now the second meaning of “incredulous” in current dictionaries is apparently “incredible.”    Prescriptive grammarians will gnash their teeth, but that skirmish is over.  

I don’t want to waste time wailing about this.   There’s nothing to be done, and anyway we’re still free to use each adjective correctly, and I hope we do.    

Instead, I’d like to waste (a little)  time cataloguing the devolution of words and phrases, specifically as hastened by movies and TV.     Linguists are certainly right that language is a living thing, always in flux, but surely that flux becomes a torrent [extended metaphor, but this is just a blog] when the same word or phrase is broadcast to the millions.

If anybody’s already done this, I’d like to know about it.   Meanwhile, feel free to add to this very short list.

1.   “Deja vu all over again.”   Yogi Berra said this, and it was  funny  (like “incredulous”).   Then writers and entertainers took up the phrase and used it, mostly without citing Berra, but still (I think) with conscious irony.   These days, I’m pretty sure that most of the time when somebody says “It’s deja vu all over again,” they’re dead serious.   They probably don’t even know who Yogi Berra is.   If we take the passage literally, it’s essentially tautological.  

2. “It is what it is.”   Speaking of tautologies, I’m guessing that when this was first uttered, it wasn’t one.   In paraphrase it meant something like “It is limited in scope” or “We must accept it as it is.”   Actually, come to think of it, I’m not sure what the hell it meant to begin with, but now it’s, well, what it is.   A waste of space.

That’s all I’ve got this morning.   Please offer additions.   Maybe we can all get a grant.

3.   “Wah-lah.”   The first time I heard this, I thought it was deliberate and intentionally funny character work: the character didn’t know that  “Voila!”  begins with a V.   Or even that it’s French. Ha ha.     Now I’m pretty sure it’s the writers who don’t.   Please prove me wrong.

Machine-Translated Jokes!

These, courtesy of Google Translation and http://hephaistos639.over-blog.com/article-26960987.html, are pretty fabulous, both when they work and when they don’t.   Please feel free to suggest additions, but be sure to include the original url.

 

– Un mec entre dans un bar : “bonjour, je voudrais un chwirzkitchuidrutec à la menthe” et le barman “Vous voulez un chwirzkitchuidrutec à quoi ?”

Automatic translation: – A man enters a bar: “Hello, I’d like a chwirzkitchuidrutec with mint” and the bartender “You want a chwirzkitchuidrutec what?”

 Qui a inventé la cédille ? Monsieur Groçon

 Who invented the cedilla?   Mr.  Groçon

 Pourquoi les éléphants sont gros, gris et frippés ? Parce que s’ils étaient petits, blancs et lisse, ça serrait de l’aspirine.

Why are elephants big, gray and frippés? Because they were small, white and smoth, it shook the aspirin.

 Pourquoi le schtroumpf à lunettes at-il été emprisonné pendant deux ans ? Parce qu’il a schtroumpfé.

 
Why smurf glasses he was imprisoned for two years  Because it has  schtroumpfé.

 “Papa, papa, c’est vrai que j’ai une grande bouche?” “Mais non !! Prend ta pelle et mange ta soupe.”

“Dad, Dad, it’s true that I have a big mouth?”– “But no! Takes ta ta scoop and eat soup.”

 Qu’est ce qui traverse la foret la nuit et qui est transparent ? Un troupeau de vitre

What runs through the forest at night and that is transparent?   A flock of glass.

C’est l’histoire d’un homme qui rentre dans un café. Plouf !

– It is the story of a man who enters a café.         Plouf !

Unintriguing Headlines

Here’s a new list.   These must be substantiated.

Bullies May Get Kick Out of Seeing Others in Pain

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27592980/

Portuguese sausage sighted in North County

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2008/08/20/food/groch/z8756df8b2ffbd441882574ab0001abe5.txt

 Drunken dialing, mental confusion prompt frivolous calls to 911

http://www.nctimes.com/news/national/article_805e43dd-0bdb-53ff-b473-e4cdc0e52698.html

Reviews for The Writing Class

According to critics, I’ve written:

A Sizzling Summer Beach Read: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25280915/

[F]irst-rate satire…not even the mean-spirited sniper can find anything evil to say about the endearing Amy, whose quirky Web site (called “Go Away”) is a gold mine of literary nuggets:   http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/27/books/review/Crime-t.html?_r=1&ref=books&oref=slogin

A Killer Murder Mystery: http://www.cleveland.com/entertainment/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/entertainment-0/1214037020320080.xml&coll=2

Not Your Usual Murder Mystery: http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23889208-5003424,00.html

[A] black comedy about an adult-ed class gone bad. The Writing Classis an old-fashioned locked-door mystery in which strangers are trapped in a classroom with a sociopath in their midst. http://www.brownalumnimagazine.com/the_arts/a_killer_in_the_classroom_2111.html

A Fall-off-your-chair-funny, Yet Gently Sad Murder Mystery: http://www.sdcitybeat.com/cms/story/detail/murder_and_other_bad_behavior/7015/

A Delicious Satire Savag[ing] Every Literary Pretension Imaginable: http://www.miamiherald.com/tropical_life/story/552534.html

An Engaging and Very Funny Novel about a Diverse Group of People Learning to Write: Canberra Times, 5/7/2008

A Clever Page-Turner: Australian Women’s Weekly, July, 2008

A Darkly Comic Murder Mystery: Sydney Daily Telegraph, 6/28/2008

A  Readable and Entertaining Mystery but it’s also more than that. It explores, albeit lightly, the underbelly of the writing world:  http://www.smh.com.au/news/book-reviews/the-writing-class/2008/07/18/1216163140461.html

A Dark Comedy of the Absurd [and] Damn Fine Guide to Writing Fiction: (Publishers Weekly) http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Writing-Class/Jincy-Willett/e/9780312330668/?itm=2#TABS

A Murder Mystery Written by Someone Who Maybe Doesn’t Like, and Definitely Doesn’t Understand, Murder Mysteries: (Snarkus Kirkus Reviews)    http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Writing-Class/Jincy-Willett/e/9780312330668/?itm=2#TABS

 Mystery! Mayhem!: http://www.dailycandy.com/chicago/article/36539/All+the+Worlds+a+Page

A  Marvelous Toy of a Book, Full of Wry Surprises and Sly Twists: Booklist Magazine (ALA), May 2008

A BookSense Pick: http://www.booksense.com/bspicks/June08.jsp

A Darkly Comic Mystery: http://www.sandiegomagazine.com/media/San-Diego-Magazine/June-2008/Calendar/

[with]    Zany Humor…Blended with Intelligence and Empathy for People Worth Knowing, at Least in a Book: http://www.projo.com/books/content/BOOK-WRITING-CLASS__06-22-08_CHA5VBE_v9.1109902.html

[following] the Same Advice that Innumerable Writing Teachers Give: Write What You Know: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/features/20080622-9999-1a22willett.html

A Kooky and Spooky Whodunit: http://www.straight.com/article-151100/the-writing-class\

What’s Hot in the Media: http://www.booksellerandpublisher.com.au/articles/2008/07/08778

A  Terrifically Engrossing Page-turner, a Comic Thriller that is Likely to be One of the Great Reads of the Summer of 2008: http://www.buffalonews.com:80/entertainment/booksliterature/story/386144.html

The Most Profound Contribution to Western Letters since the Gutenburg Bible: http://www.jincywillett.com/journal/

Onionesque Headlines

This fabulous List suggested by Tom Hartley.   All entries are his, unless otherwise attributed.   As always, feel free to jump in.

 9th Viewing of Return of the Jedi a Disappointment

Haydn Threatens to Glut the Symphony Market

Kierkegaard’s Latest Philosophical Musing Depresses No One

Mark Russell to Apologize to Nation for Not Writing a Song about Super Tuesday

Writer’s Strike Cripples Nigerian Banking Industry

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Tops NAAMBLA’s Best Books of 2007 List

Ghost of Norman Mailer Forgives Nobel Literature Prize Committee

Dennis Kucinich Finds New Lost Cause

Local Ron Paul Supporter Considers Possibility that Oswald Acted Alone

Blogger’s Latest Case for Impeachment His Most Devastating Yet

Nation Shows Signs of No Longer Giving a Shit about Fucked Up Blonde Girls

Chewbaca’s Wikipedia Entry Rife with Errors

Flava Flav Suspects Some of the Ladies Are Not Really Here for the
Flav; Money, Publicity Possible Real Motives

Some Designers Not Consoled by Heidi Klum’s Icy Farewell Kiss

Britney Spears Hopes the Lampshade on Her Head Will Amuse Onlookers

Whole World to Suffer Again for Richard Hilton Not Paying Enough
Attention to Daughter Paris

Hillary Clinton Tells Husband Making Fun of Obama’s Name Is Not Helping

In His Most Impassioned Dissent, Antonin Scalia Finally Drops the F-Bomb

McCain Campaign Song Frightens Children

Obama Campaign to Instil Vague Sense of Well-Being with New Slogan,
“The Hopefulness of Hope”

McCain Says Brahms-Wagner War May Last Another 100 Years

Word List from Copyeditor’s Stylesheet for The Writing Class (coming in June 2008)

(this being what copy editors, without whom writers would look pretty silly, have to worry about)

a while (2 wds as obj of prep)

a.k.a.

anymore (1 wd as adv)

awhile (as adv)

axe-wielding

backseat

backstory

basset hound

bioterrorist

bling

blond, fem., n. & adj.

blond, masc. or neut., n. & adj.

brand-new

buttload

buzz cut, n.

buzz-cut, adj.

cell phone

cheat sheet

computer-savvy

coulrophobic

crappitude

curricula vitarum

d.o.b., d.o.d.

diacritics

diphthongs

doofus

eftsoons

e-mail

encomium

exactamento

FedEx

Frisbee

gigue

glance-through, n.

Googling

half hour

half-filled

high school (adj.)

huzzahs

Hylocereus undatus

Internet

JPEG

kibbitzers

leukemia

likable

looky-loo

lying doggo

mal de mer

mixups

mnemonic

namby-pamby

night-blooming cereus

nonce

nonfiction

nonreaders

nor’easter

online

over-praising

p.o.v.

pied piper

pinup

plastique

plenteous

Post-it

pre-registration

printouts

screwups

sea-rolls

setups

shape-shifter

shih tzu

shoot-out

simpleminded

sixties

souffle

spaceship

sure-footed

t.o.d.

tae kwon do

tantivying

tech-savvy

tomblike

trisyllabic

voice mail

wannabes

Web site

whiteboard

wineglasses

Xanax

Xeroxing

x-rayed

youse

zip-tab

What does this mean?

Readers are invited to explain selected sentences from current news stories.   You can be creative if you want, but I wouldn’t mind a straightforward explanation.   Also feel free to suggest other puzzlers.   (No politics, please: the focus is language.)

From WRCB-TV in Chattanooga:

 …”We have the three climbers..all are mobile..no one is ambulatory.”

 Four guesses from Justkristin:

“We have found three [of the missing mountain] climbers” . “all [three] are able to move” . “no one requires an ambulance”
OR
“We have found three [of the missing mountain] climbers” . “All [three] can move” . “[but] no one can [actually] walk”
OR
“We have three vines…all of them are able to move about of their own will…none of us are able to walk anymore.”
OR
“We have three people with us who eagerly grasp any opportunity to move up in the world…all of them have cell phones…they all stay put in their office or cubicle chairs and never walk about.”

My own guess:

“We have three climbers…all can be moved [i.e., in a stretcher or something]…not one can move on his own.”

 From Garrett Nichols:

We have three children who are beginning to climb out of their cribs … all love their Winnie the Pooh mobiles … not one of them has yet earned their ambulance certification.

 From Christopher Allen:

German-influenced translation:   We’ve got all three of them! They can furnish, but they aren’t yet outpatients.

Funny-Looking Words

(a work in progress)

    Adjectives:

  • Berserk
  • Blotto
  • Gassy
  • Eleemosynary
  • Flocculent
  • Verbs:

  • Disembosom
  • Buttress
  • Gainsay
  • Lambaste
  • Nouns:

  • Crabapple
  • Loblolly
  • Kumquat
  • Bomb
  • Blowtorch
  • Botfly
  • Flange
  • Lardoon
  • Galoot
  • Poltroon
  • Spittoon
  • Besom
  • Disembosomee
  • Frottage
  • Onus
  • Larb
  • Phlebotomist
  • Philatelist
  • Nozzle
  • Rumpus
  • Nosegay
  • Yurt
  • Haboob